[Note: Pen15 can be emailed at firstname.lastname@example.org.]
To my dearest darling
Kristen Wiig Pen15:
I'm sure you felt a tremendous amount of satisfaction when you busted me for bungling an expression. Good for you. Of course, if you had bothered to look up express (the adjective) in the dictionary, you would have found that it is synonomous with explicit. Sorry.
Look, snarky fan mail has to be typo-free. A single typo invites snarky responses (have you ever read the Fug Girls' responses to typo-laden emails?), and I don't want to receive any of those. Nor do I want to be quoted with one of these: [sic]. I proofread my epistles. Multiple times.
Better luck next time, Pen15.