Molly, in her comment on my epistle to Judi Dench, informed me that she is "looking to [me] for how [she] should feel about this Anna Nicole business." Wow. Determining how others should feel about Anna Nicole is a daunting task and a gross responsibility. Nevertheless, I will attempt to make this determination below.
I am so rarely shocked by celebrities. I am even generally delighted by celebrity meltdowns. (Meltdowns may include but are not limited to breakups, drunk driving, racist rants, cult membership, pantylessness, prostitute patronization, and It-Girl-on-It-Girl crime.) Aren’t we all guilty of this sort of celebrity schadenfreude? But in the past few weeks I have been shocked twice: first by the death of Anna Nicole Smith; second by the death of Britney Spears’ hair.
Celebrity does strange things to people. It gives them a sense of entitlement so great that it outweighs any obligation to behave in a way which would indicate that they deserve their fame and fortune. It also gives them a sense of invincibility so great that it outweighs any sense of what is safe, sensible, decent, and legal. Perhaps Anna’s death is a wakeup call to other silly, entitled, invincible celebrities, Britney among them.
Britney: don’t let Anna’s death be in vain. Learn from her mistakes. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you used to be or how much money you have. You are human. There are only so many drinking binges, drug overdoses, crash diets, sordid love affairs, embarrassing reality shows, and fashion faux pas your body can take. Break the cycle before it’s too late.