Epistolary Blog

Epistle to Hollywood

To my dearest darling Hollywood:

I hear the writers are still on strike.

My boyfriend and I are working on a treatment for a half-hour sitcom called Ho-Ho-Kus Po-Pocus about a group of stuttering witches in Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey.

Just think: A freak accident at the speech therapist's leaves a group of Garden State stutterers with magical powers.  They've got the magic words—if only they could get them out.

CALL ME.

Love,

Lauren

Epistle to Jonathan Crombie

To my dearest darling Jonathan:

You played dreamy Gilbert Blythe in the 1985 Anne of Green Gables TV miniseries and its many sequels.  More recently you played neurotic playwright Lionel Train on my second favorite Canadian television series, Slings and Arrows.  (Degrassi is number one, of course.)

Somehow, you slipped my mind when I was creating my List of Celebrities with whom I am Allowed to Cheat on my Boyfriend.  I apologize for this oversight.  Conan, you're out.  Jonathan, welcome to the top 10.

Love,

Lauren

Epistle to Hollywood

To my dearest darling Hollywood:

I hear the writers are on strike.  I have a master's degree in creative writing and an idea for a Heroes-like TV drama in which the superpowers are sexually transmitted.

CALL ME.

Love,

Lauren