Epistolary Deep Thoughts

  • This past semester I taught Flannery O'Connor's "Good Country People." In a remarkable display of good taste and self-restraint, I did NOT make any Heather Mills jokes.
  • I would trade all my clothes for Shelley Long's Troop Beverly Hills wardrobe.
  • If I were a DJ, my name would be either DJ Booty (in honor of my favorite African nation) or DJ Tanner (in honor of my favorite 80s sitcom).
  • I love to say “WTF.” It’s one of those rare counterproductive abbreviations that actually has more syllables than the phrase it abbreviates.

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OMG, you are the awesomest awesome, and I am laughing harder than I have in...I just don't even know when.

Oh, great jumping cats, I SO support your choice about the Fung Wah Bus (you're seriously not pulling my leg here?). Also, the ONLY person I have ever heard use the word "Chinamen" was my dad, so I always assumed it was a rural Arkansas thing.

I would totally make my husband order me a "chocolate stick." For real. But then he would just make a joke about his own, um, equipment, and some sort of dipping sauce, and it would all dissolve from there. I stand by my strong advice to stay away from the gator on a stick.

We are freaking watching TiVo'd "DOG" RIGHT THE HECK NOW, YOU NUTTY-BIRD. And now we have to go and read that article and laugh and laugh some more. You could make a great drinking game out of "DOG" if you just took a drink every time you heard the word "ice." IS THAT THE ONLY DRUG THEY HAVE IN HAWAII?

And you are the only person, aside from the St. Petersburg Times reporter who picked up the Barnyard thing, to call me "Belinda Arkansas." Hmmm. From you, I think I shall allow it.

And keep writing, because I am going to be going under the knife soon and will be bored out of my skull. Read some books, and tell me which are the good ones. Thank you, my dearest darling Lauren. 'Ta!


okay. granola and tea can't come out of your nose from laughing.

but they tried.



The real reason I couldn't ride the Fung Wah Bus is that is sounds too much like the Ben Wah Bus.

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